As a guy with a zoology degree, I love going to the zoo. It’s just such a great chance to get stupid nerdy and talk trash about people calling the Hamadryas Baboons monkeys.

So, despite feeling like a hungover owl, I jumped with joy when my lovely girlfriend surprised me with a random trip to the Prospect Park Zoo. Why don’t you jump yourself to see what the zoo had to offer.

Prospect Park is a pretty small zoo, but it’s got a large number of species represented and doesn’t get too crowded. We showed up right during a quick sea lion show that wasn’t a pain in the ass to watch like a Shamu performance.

People forget that insects are animals too.

The black-tailed prairie dog in its natural pose: annoyed that you’re looking at it.

There were a number of waterfowl present. It’s been a long time since I’ve been birding and I can’t remember everyone’s names. So I can’t tell you who this lady is.

Nor this guy. Oh well.

I was hoping the zoo would actually have dinosaurs, but it seems John Hammond stopped donating years ago.

Here’s a turtle floating on some fronds. He was chilling hard.

Emus are scary, but they’re really rocking that Cosmo Kramer vibe.

This red panda was fluffy as hell. Dude was sweating pretty hard though.

These deer didn’t give a shit about anything. I think they were Mongolian, which explains everything.

Porcupines keep it real. They don’t actually shoot their quills though. Don’t be an idiot.

I better a trained sea otter would be a killer pickpocket. These guys looked hot as well.

I don’t know where the ‘peafowl’ thing came from, but come on. This dude’s a peacock.

Birds are basically on meth at all times. Straight twitchin’.

Piranhas are mean bastards, but they get a pass because they’re sparkly.

I don’t know anything about this damn bird. There are too many to remember.

Golden lion tamarin. One thing that really annoyed me were the number of people using their flash while taking pictures of animals indoors. THERE IS GLASS THERE PEOPLE. THE FLASH DOESN’T WORK. Plus, it’s gotta fuck with the animals. Someone needs to regulate that shit.

Saki monkey. He spotted me.

The circle of life, etc.

I’ve seen these guys in the wild down in Brazil. They dig fighting.

These geese were rocking the blowout. Barnyard style.

Speaking of barnyard style, zookeepers were getting nuts with the haircuts. Emo llama?

Emo pony?

This quadhorn is just on another level.

Sheep: dumb, yet bloodthirsty.

Goats are cool though.

Kids are writing letters to cows nowadays. Our schools really are fucked.

I’m a big fan of hornbills. Such great hairstyles.

And that’s the Prospect Park Zoo! Check it out. It’s great for kids and not-kids, it’s cheap and it’s fun. Nature rules!