A little while back we had the pleasure of being invited to a barbecue at a house up in the country north of New York City. We may have been near Brewster, but I have no idea. In any case, our host picked us up at the train and drove us off to his neighborhood full of green lawns and mansions. This isn’t a mansion. It’s a cute shack.

As you might guess, fresh air, grass, woods and booze led to a curious afternoon of playing games and picture taking.

This little guy was running amok. Drinking beer, eating food, everything. His owners were one of those couples that just spends any social time all alone and cuddling. They were the type to blame other people for their dog’s bad behavior. After realizing this, I made sure to leave food where he could get it just to piss them off.

All that grass meant games were in order. With nothing to do but eat and drink, someone suggested playing Dizzy Bat.

You know it: it’s the game where you shotgun a beer, spin in circles, and then try to hit your can really fucking far. It’s great!

Everyone tumbles and smiles and laughs and it’s basically like the first time you even drank a beer.

This is an absolute first for me. These three young women, wanting to do gymnastics and whatnot, decided their dresses wouldn’t cut it. So they asked our host for a bunch of pairs of his drawers to wear. He seemed confused but was more than willing to oblige their request.

No longer worried about exposing themselves, a cartwheel race commenced.

As is usual in these types of contests, the loser won a beer.

As a show of solidarity, I suppose I won a beer too.

Next up was a wheelbarrow race. Past losers redeemed themselves. It was a story worthy of a movie.

Everybody finished though. That’s what counts.

After the wheelbarrow drama was over, no one was quite sure what to do to keep up the high fun quotient. Someone suggested more beer.

More beer worked!

I retroactively feel bad that this bird was just sitting there in a quiet pile of feathers. Just sitting? I don’t get it.

Then again, I didn’t get most of the sitting that day.

This was a mildly lopsided game as the team on the left had never played before.

Aww.

This isn’t posed. He was just being an idiot.

This girl really wanted me to take pictures of her chugging vodka out of a watermelon. I was glad she did because it was pretty impressive.

Dizzy Bat brings people together. I’m pretty sure it was invented by Henry Kissinger.

And we migrated to the woods. Model shot!

I believe this was a combination of boxed wine and high-end orange soda.

I think I must have given it a bad review.

Barbecue porn! Got damn that man is a man.

There’s not pretext, subtext or any text for this. Just look at it.

I think this about sums it all up. At least the afternoon portions. As you already figured out, all of this is just a precursor for weirdness. Stay tuned.