A couple weeks back Amber and I went off in search of the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, a walkway near the river that Abe Lincoln himself once described by saying “There may be finer views than this in the world, but I don’t believe it.” Unfortunately, I had the bright (and manly!) idea to walk across the borough to get there. It was only three miles or so. We managed to get where I thought it was (Joralemon and the BQE) and promptly got stuck walking a road next to the docks.

It was also raining, super hazy and hot. Shitty weather for taking photos, so I went for a little old-timey wash on these puppies. Sue me if you think they look contrived.

Wandering next to the river and not sure how to get up in the Heights were the rich people live, we popped out upon the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Well, actually, we were talking shit about some middle aged dude running with an upside down visor on like an extra from the first season of The Real World when we noticed he’d somehow transported himself through the barbed-wire fence we were hemmed in by and had found a nice little path to scurry on. We were obviously pissed off that he had found a cooler place than us, so we kept tracking him to try and conspicuously show him up when we found the park. What luck!

Apparently the park regularly hosts free concerts, and looked like a kick ass venue. It appeared brand-new, with lots of nice paths and plenty of waterfront space. Cool place to watch the tourist boats go by. We even saw a floating wedding in progress.

Leave poochie at home though. Who’s ever heard of a dog-free lawn?

When we’d had enough of the soggy, dog-hating park, we took off to make another attempt at joining the upper crust. Along the way I found this slightly-rusty ’57 hanging out at a mechanic’s shop.

It’s kinda nice to see a single-tone model with some age on it. Real respectable-like.

After soggily stumbling up some hills into the land of Brooklyn’s wealthy, we finally found our path. Oh, excuse me. Promenade!

I was really expecting this piece to spin.

I mean, it looked like a clock!

I’ve always been a little bit embarrassed to be associated with crabs just because of my birthday. Why not a giraffe or a duck?

This is the view Lincoln got all worked up about. Even on a day with the worst possible viewing conditions it was pretty stellar, and the Promenade seems like one of those awesome secret places to keep in your back pocket to impress people. Still, as you can see, the Brooklyn Bridge Park just is so much more inviting to lounge about. Unless you’re a dog.