Old Men Fighting.

Our driver gave the bottle a quick look of lust and sped off. He was putting on impressive pace through the narrow back streets that made up what seemed an incredibly sketchy route to our destination, but he was well into his eighties and I figured that if he was still alive he must know a thing or two about being behind the wheel. Still, knowing that he didn’t speak a word of English, Jeff and I couldn’t help but peppering in the occasional “Give it some gas, you crazy son of a bitch!” or “Hot damn, I thought an old fucker like you would know how to drive! Let’s see what she’s got!” just to bust his chops a bit.

We were startled out of our conversation when the driver screeched up to a car stopped in the middle of the street, but it was clear that the car was just waiting for someone to pull out of a parking spot and we soon resumed talking about whatever inane bullshit it is that you tend to talk about when you’re half drunk on sugar liquor and lost in a cab somewhere in the city.

Then the man honked again. He really leaned on it this time, and rolled down his window.

“What kind of shit is this! Move your fucking car!” He started yelling in an old man screech, waving a fist out of the window. We had been stopped for all of 15 seconds. The parked car had just started out of its spot.

The driver of the car in front of us waved a fist in response. Our driver was not amused.

“Go fuck yourself! Don’t wave that goddamned hand at me! Move your shit car before I get out of here and shove the whole car right up your ass! Shove it up your ass!”

The first driver burst out of his car. I wondered how far we’d have to walk after our driver got his ass kicked. But the first guy was just as old as our man.

“Shut the fuck up! Can’t you see I’m waiting for someone! I don’t need to hear your bullshit you old bastard!” he said.

“Shove it up your ass!” Our driver seemed fond of the phrase. The first man pulled back for a wild punch and let loose on the taxi’s side mirror.

Our driver exploded out of his seat but was restrained by the seatbelt. “Get your fucking filthy paws off my car you son of a bitch! Motherfucker!”

The parked car had already taken off, so the first driver walked back to his car and drove away, all the while yelling obscenities and shaking his shriveled old fist like a lunatic. Our driver continued yelling as well until a pair of women, one old and one middle aged, pulled up next to us headed in the opposite direction.