I posted this ad on Craigslist a few weeks ago in preparation for an Embassy holiday party. Of course, I no longer live at the vaunted Embassy, and wasn’t sure if I was even going to make the party, but such is life. If I may quote:

The Embassy is Looking for Attractive, Fun Women with Loose Morals – mm4ww – 23 (The Strand, Hermosa Beach)

The world-famous Embassy – host to scintillating events such as “Zebra and Short Shorts” and the “Pumpking Smash Party Bash” on The Strand, is hosting an ultimate holiday character party, and we want you there!

Us:
Four dudes who do dude stuff. We party our fucking faces off and run when the cops show up.

You:
Good-looking young woman/women who want to rage at the beach and get other women at the party topless for our photographer friend Doctor’s upcoming show.

LET’S GET RETARDED AS FUCK

Here’s what I got back:

Getting retarded as fuck sounds fuuuunnnn =) !

Holy fucking hell.